More end of semester thoughts

I finished grading papers at 1am this morning, and posted grades to Moodle and submitted final grades.  By 2:30am, I had my first email which begged, "But I tried really hard!"  The past two or three days I've had a number of frantic emails from students--one even used the word frantic--wanting to know when grades would be posted, can they revise, is there any extra credit they can do....Several of them began by explaining that they had just looked at their grade on Moodle and realized that they didn't have an A, which prompted the frantic emails.  And since posting grades this morning, the emails have continued.

It's weird--I used to get these emails, before I started using an online gradebook.  Once I started keeping grades online, these emails for the most part went away, as students are able to check on their average at any given moment.  I even had one student write his position paper this semester arguing that all teachers should be required to use the Moodle gradebook, as it greatly alleviates student anxiety.  So, this rash of frantic emails is rather unusual.

I admit to feeling quite frustrated and annoyed by these emails, as most of them are using emotional language and all seem to be throwing themselves on my mercy.  They beg for extra credit and even offer to write a new paper.  My annoyance stems from the fact that it's not as though these students' grades suddenly took a nosedive, or that there were lots of failing grades.  In fact, one of the most desperate sounding emails is from a student who got a B. I checked final grades against midterm grades, and individual final paper grades against earlier paper grades.  Generally, there's a slight progression from midterm to final, and most individuals show improvement from earlier papers to later (which is why the final paper is weighted heavier than the first paper--I genuinely work to structure the class so that improvement is rewarded).  I had some really great student papers--one paper, in which a student explained Jindal's position on school vouchers, and then explained how his explanation is oversimplifying a complicated issue, got me to clap at my computer while I was reading it.

Today, however, between my frantic student emails which all seem to be hurling themselves at my mercy (as I noted on facebook, my mercy is tired of having things thrown at it today) and the conversations I've had the last two days about teaching--specifically, my program's stated expectations of its teachers, what kind of teaching seems to be rewarded by my program, the program's unclear expectations of us as graduate students, and what our students seem to expect from us--I'm throwing my hands up today. The person who won the teaching award did so because he received straight 5s on his teaching evaluations--which seems suspect to me.  "5" doesn't mean anything to me.  When I hand out evals, I give the school's scantron forms, but I also hand out my own, short answer forms (based on those used by my former program), which actually give me useful information.  Further, there is very little classroom observation that goes on--both times that I've been observed here, I've had to ask to be evaluated.  I don't think that very much is known about what goes on inside the classroom here.

Because of this (I conclude), my colleagues and I are getting students who have been here for two and three and four years who claim to have never done academic research in a classroom.  There are graduate students in my graduate classes who claim to have never written a paper longer than ten pages, and don't know how to write something 20 pages long. 

I feel like I keep encountering issues which seem like they're connected, and seem like they are systemic in some way.  I would like to be able to do something about it, but I also want to maintain my sanity and use my finite amounts of energy and time in ways which reflect my priorities.  My purpose in writing this is to vent, with the intention of blowing off steam to maintain my sanity.  Next year, I will have some leadership opportunities in my department to at least offer support for graduate students who feel as though they're floundering when writing, and I intend to once again re-formulate a first year composition class.  Now that grades are submitted, I think the next thing for me to do is rest and recuperate.  I tend to have less patience when I'm fatigued, which is definitely contributing to today's frustration and annoyance.

Focusing on the positive

I started student conferences yesterday.  The rough draft for their first paper is due Friday, with the final paper due next Friday.  The first paper is a rhetorical analysis of a print ad--I like it as an exercise in analysis.  So far, it's been quite a motley assortment.  In class, I handed back the paper proposals and went over a few common issues I saw with them--one of which was a tendency with a few students to want to write some big sprawling paper on the history of gender roles in advertising, or do research, or write about an issue the ad brings up, but not about the ad itself.

My last conference of the day yesterday was like that--a real go-getter student, even after I'd talked about this in class, and noted on his paper proposal that the assignment is for an analysis of his ad, and not on the effects of materialism on divorce rates, he sat down in my office and said, "Let me tell you about the paper I'm going to write," and then proceeded to talk about his feelings on the effects of materialism on divorce rates.  I explained again what this paper's focus should be, and explained my reasoning behind the arc of assignments in the course.  I suggested that his larger interest might be something to keep in mind for the larger research project which we'll begin after this paper.  He expressed understanding, but seemed less than excited about this assignment, which I got the impression he seems to think is beneath him.

Oh well. I intend to focus on the positive.  Another student I met with yesterday emailed today, asking if she could meet with me again before Friday and have me look over her rough draft.  That makes me feel hopeful, that there are students in the class who are working.

Still, I'm a bit annoyed that I waited until this semester to ask to have my teaching evaluated.  I have a date now--March 9--which may be the same lesson plan I did when I was taped for evaluation purposes at UT.  Fingers crossed that by that point, the class will have gelled a bit more.  If they don't, though, I'm a bit torn whether I should warn the evaluator before the class period about the class.  I have a good reputation as a teacher now; I wonder if, when I confirm the date a week or so before the class period, if I should note that it's not the most engaged class I've ever taught, partly because there are a couple of large cliques of friends in the class.  I plan on addressing that this week by having them count off on Friday and randomly assigning partners for the rough draft workshop, rather than having them pick their partners.

And in other good news, I sent out the semester's calendar of events for the WGS Graduate Student Organization (WGSGO) to the list of DGSs I had one of the student workers in WGS put together for me.  My hope was to reach some departments which are underrepresented in WGS--as much as it's nice to have English dominate, it would be nice to get some fresh perspectives (one thing which was quite beneficial when I did my independent study, required for a WGS minor, with a sociology professor).  I've already heard from one graduate student in kinesiology, which I'm quite happy about. 

This weekend is the WGS retreat, which I'm looking forward to a lot.  I had such a good time at last years'--although, I will have a bunch of rough drafts to grade while I'm there.  Last year, I had a bunch of Flannery O'Connor to read, which was highlighted by the noisy peacocks which roam about the retreat location. 

And my Letter Writing Month commitments continue--it's been a really wonderful practice in gratitude. And, yesterday I got a lovely note from Mary Robinette Kowal, the fabulous author who came up with the program in the first place.

Positive!  Happy thoughts!
(which I need, as I now resume my viewing of Birth of a Nation for the class I'm auditing. If only MST-3K had done a version...)

More specifically

My last post was rather chatty and all over the place.  Having spent several hours last night filing away teaching and class notes from summer and fall, I'm a feeling like I'd like a bit more focus now. 

One area I'd like to focus on is the idea of motivated students.  In my last post, I expressed regret for returning to teaching composition after having had such a wonderful experience with two sections of women's and gender studies.  Though that class counted as a gen ed credit, for the most part it was a rather self-selected group of students who were generally interested in the subject matter--if they weren't interested in WGS, they could have taken sociology or psychology or something.  I had one student so inspired by Peggy Macintosh's "Unpacking White Privilege" that she changed her major.  Class discussions were usually interesting.  My students wrote really insightful final papers on a variety of pop culture elements.  And when my director came to evaluate me, she noted how surprised she was at the attendance of my class--I normally ran at around 85% in a class of 35.

This semester, I'm back to second year composition.  I keep saying that I'll put together a themed course (like I did at UT), but I keep not having time to.  Well, and I keep hoping that I'll get to teach a class in fiction, too.  Teaching composition is so often felt as a form of punishment at worst, or something that has to be got through at best.  Perhaps I'm exaggerating here--well, I am exaggerating to some extent, but it's important to note that most of the people who teach composition are literature or creative writing people, and not those whose studies focus on rhetoric and composition.  Of course we're going to be disappointed when, once again, we're teaching how to write an argument paper instead of Shakespeare.

Admittedly, I do get to teach Shakespeare this summer.  And between thinking about that and reading Peter Elbow's new book, I have enough ideas I want to pursue with my writing students that I should have the kind of enthusiasm which students pick up on.  My random ideas include:

• Using Wordle during the revision process, so students can see what their language use looks like
• Incorporating even more reading aloud in class (maybe of work other than their own?  To see what other people's writing feels like to read?)
• Moving around.  I'm not sure yet what this means, but I want more movement in class.  I may even try class outside (eek!).
• Though I typically do freewriting every day in class, I want to see if I can find a way to shake up freewriting even more.  This summer, I had student freewrite and then exchange papers, respond to the writing, and then write again.  I think I may try even more of these interactive assignments.  And find a way to pair students up with different people--this summer, one person confided that she had trouble with the person she sat next to and always ended up paired up with, as he never had any useful feedback for her.
• Maybe, then, I should work on what providing useful feedback is like?

Lots of things to keep in mind.  My syllabus is for the most part done, with due dates and stuff, but I will continue to tweak the actual schedule.