Last week, I went with my friend Stephanie to the Y for a "demonstration" of their Chicago Swing Dance class (which turned into a brief lesson). Though traffic is not awesome on the way to her house, and the music the dance is done to (R&B) is not my favorite, it was fun enough that I signed up (and, more importantly, paid) for six weeks of classes. Yesterday was the first real class--and boy, was it hard to leave the house at 6pm on Monday. The combination of having paid $60 and having told Stephanie I'd go with her is what got me out the door, rather than still on the couch reading reading reading.*
I'm very glad I went. While I'm still not thrilled with the music, class was fun--we went over the basic step again (which I had mis-remembered--it's actually 1,2-and-3, 4-and-5, 6) and learned several varieties of turns. And, I got to hang out with Stephanie and her toddler, which was fun. And importantly, when I came home and tried to read again,** my brain was so much clearer. It was the walking meditation experience again.
So today, though it's my day off, I'm going to campus to sit in on a class that's reading Mayra Montero's The Messenger, which I wrote an article about. I'm happy that I got out of bed before 11 today (because on a day off, that doesn't happen as much as I'd like it to), so that I have time to do an exercise video. If I can continue to condition myself to understand that exercise/activity makes be feel better and think more clearly, I think it will hopefully overtime become more integrated into my routine.
I was going to write "and then hopefully despondent days like yesterday will be rarer," but I don't know that I want that to be true. Rather, I think my being honest about when things aren't great is ultimately good for me (and something I'm not great at being frank about). So, for now, days like yesterday are just fine.
*The reading for this class I'm auditing is really something. I had to pull out a binder for all of the readings, because a folder wouldn't contain it all. The readings for Thursday are about an inch thick, an inch of history and theorizing southern and queer studies. I'm glad this is all I'm taking!
**Thank goodness, I've only got one article left to read. It's a lot!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
Now that the shininess is wearing off
A few years ago (2006, I believe), I went to a weekend retreat on "dancing the goddess free" in Asheville (I mean, come on, it was in Asheville). It was such a wonderful experience--one of the outcomes of the weekend, in fact, was my determination and decision to finish my BA in earnest (and here I am six years later with not only a BA but an MA and coursework completed toward my doctorate. Quite the weekend, indeed). However, the Monday after the retreat was AWFUL--I was so sad. I missed being excited about jumping out of bed to go to sunrise yoga by the pond. I felt resentful toward my asinine coworkers. I didn't care one iota about transcribing meeting notes.
I think something like that may be going on in my teaching right now. After teaching two sections of Introduction to Women's and Gender Studies last semester (70 students total!), returning to teaching composition feels like a let down. I've taught this class once before, and haven't made any major changes (partly because I think this sequence of assignments makes sense, and partly because we were given about a week's notice to turn in our syllabuses for this semester during finals week last semester). Sure, had I wanted to make a major change, I could have, but I think that, for a class whose focus is argument and research, this assignment sequence--a rhetorical analysis of a print ad, group skits on argument fallacies, followed by a research project which includes an annotated bibliography, a researched expository paper, and a researched position paper--accomplishes the major goals of the class.
I wish I could resurrect the themed 102 class I did at UT, which had research its focus, and was focused on the South. It included field research and archival research, along with academic research. However, the way that schedules keep shaking out, I keep missing the window of opportunity to submit my themed course proposal. That's one solution for my boredom.
I also fully admit that teaching a WGS course last semester has contributed to this feeling of let-down I have this semester. WGS was so fun--the students were such a self-selected group, and were so excited about what we were doing, and the course material was so interesting and relevant. My intention is to have even composition course material be interesting and relevant, but it's starting to feel stale. And, this class is made up primarily of two groups of friends, so I'm having to wait out the chit-chat more than usual. This detracts from my motivation.
I was reading Donne Quesada's Buddha in the Classroom last night, which addressed just this feeling of burn out and boredom. Her suggestions included trying to stay in the moment and connect with students individually, which I tried today. I also started the day by sitting zazen for ten minutes, though that led to my not having time to sit down and eat my cereal this morning. I took it in a baggie without milk, instead.
Now that I think about it, I am intending on trying some new things in the classroom, like incorporating some of Sondra Perl's Felt Sense exercises. It's just that this is the first time I've been in the classroom and not been totally excited about being there. I'd so much rather be doing my own work--I've got a couple of articles I'm really excited about right now, and the course I'm auditing (on the Queer South!) is overlapping nicely with both my reading lists and my interests. I finally sat down last week and closely read all of Foucault's History of Sexuality, Volume 1, and was so jazzed about it. I'd like the jazz to bleed over into my classroom, right now.
(now I'm thinking about writing a poem called "I'd like the jazz to bleed)
I suppose I'm being incredibly demanding right now. I'm used to having less than stellar classes as a student; this is the first time I've felt that way about a class I'm teaching. And it's only week two. Ah, learning experiences.
I think something like that may be going on in my teaching right now. After teaching two sections of Introduction to Women's and Gender Studies last semester (70 students total!), returning to teaching composition feels like a let down. I've taught this class once before, and haven't made any major changes (partly because I think this sequence of assignments makes sense, and partly because we were given about a week's notice to turn in our syllabuses for this semester during finals week last semester). Sure, had I wanted to make a major change, I could have, but I think that, for a class whose focus is argument and research, this assignment sequence--a rhetorical analysis of a print ad, group skits on argument fallacies, followed by a research project which includes an annotated bibliography, a researched expository paper, and a researched position paper--accomplishes the major goals of the class.
I wish I could resurrect the themed 102 class I did at UT, which had research its focus, and was focused on the South. It included field research and archival research, along with academic research. However, the way that schedules keep shaking out, I keep missing the window of opportunity to submit my themed course proposal. That's one solution for my boredom.
I also fully admit that teaching a WGS course last semester has contributed to this feeling of let-down I have this semester. WGS was so fun--the students were such a self-selected group, and were so excited about what we were doing, and the course material was so interesting and relevant. My intention is to have even composition course material be interesting and relevant, but it's starting to feel stale. And, this class is made up primarily of two groups of friends, so I'm having to wait out the chit-chat more than usual. This detracts from my motivation.
I was reading Donne Quesada's Buddha in the Classroom last night, which addressed just this feeling of burn out and boredom. Her suggestions included trying to stay in the moment and connect with students individually, which I tried today. I also started the day by sitting zazen for ten minutes, though that led to my not having time to sit down and eat my cereal this morning. I took it in a baggie without milk, instead.
Now that I think about it, I am intending on trying some new things in the classroom, like incorporating some of Sondra Perl's Felt Sense exercises. It's just that this is the first time I've been in the classroom and not been totally excited about being there. I'd so much rather be doing my own work--I've got a couple of articles I'm really excited about right now, and the course I'm auditing (on the Queer South!) is overlapping nicely with both my reading lists and my interests. I finally sat down last week and closely read all of Foucault's History of Sexuality, Volume 1, and was so jazzed about it. I'd like the jazz to bleed over into my classroom, right now.
(now I'm thinking about writing a poem called "I'd like the jazz to bleed)
I suppose I'm being incredibly demanding right now. I'm used to having less than stellar classes as a student; this is the first time I've felt that way about a class I'm teaching. And it's only week two. Ah, learning experiences.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The Month of Letters
In that spirit, I've decided to commit to Mary Robinette Kowal's Month of Letters Challenge. It may just be a notecard, but I think that sending something out every day is a good challenge to set myself. I already write letters occasionally (I love pretty stationery and notecards)--this will be a good way to spread some happiness around. It's such a rare surprise when something pleasing shows up in the mail that I'm not expecting. I used to be such a letter-writer. All through high school and college, I kept up correspondences with friends from camp and from places I used to live. Though email is handy and immediate, I love the permanence of letters. I have boxes in my closet of not only my correspondence, but that of Aunt Julie and Mamaw, too. I even have the telegram Aunt Julie received, announcing that I'd been born (and named after her). Such tangible artifacts are important.
It will make me happy to send so many small bits of joy in the mail. And I'm interested to see how committing each day to thinking of someone else--getting outside of my own head for a bit--effects me.
Let me know if you want me to send you something!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Meta-Post
I read this article today about blogging at the same time that I have a tab open on my computer to write for a feminist blog. I still maintain that blogging keeps me productive, as I'm thinking about my work in a lower-stakes environment than more formal places. Plus, I get a lot from my online interactions--even (especially?) those with people I've never actually met on Twitter or facebook, I've been able to ask for ideas and compare experiences in teaching and grad school. I've exchanged lesson plans and worksheets. I've solicited ideas for texts to teach. My University of Venus blog post got me a guest lecture spot in my department--a poorly attended one, but a good experience and a cv line nonetheless.
That my talk at school was so poorly attended (four people!) may highlight one aspect of online interaction I enjoy--there's an audience! There's interaction! As one of my disappointments with my current institution is the lack of face-to-face interaction, having people respond to hashtagged Twitter posts during First Year Comp Chats is nice. And on facebook, I've been able to "introduce" friends in different places to each other and interact with them all at the same time.
My other blog is dedicated to my reading list, and I find it a rewarding way to track my progress. Look at how many posts I made in December! Maybe I'll get through these lists! One day!
And I'm sure it's all ultimately vanity-driven, too, but it's good to have an outlet for my words words words.
That my talk at school was so poorly attended (four people!) may highlight one aspect of online interaction I enjoy--there's an audience! There's interaction! As one of my disappointments with my current institution is the lack of face-to-face interaction, having people respond to hashtagged Twitter posts during First Year Comp Chats is nice. And on facebook, I've been able to "introduce" friends in different places to each other and interact with them all at the same time.
My other blog is dedicated to my reading list, and I find it a rewarding way to track my progress. Look at how many posts I made in December! Maybe I'll get through these lists! One day!
And I'm sure it's all ultimately vanity-driven, too, but it's good to have an outlet for my words words words.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Intentions for the new year
I don't say new year's resolutions--perhaps it's my basic curmudgeonliness, or perhaps I just don't think that they work. New year's resolutions just mean that it's hard to find an exercise bike at the gym in January (I say, sounding as if I go to a gym regularly. I used to--but January always put me off it). Instead, I usually make resolutions at my birthday the end of May--it's a much better time for me to assess and set goals.
However, there are some changes I'd like to make, and have decided to take advantage of the calendar page turn to do so. To that end, here are the two intentions I have:
Three times a week, I intend to get an hour's worth of exercise. This includes drumming.
Six days a week, I intend to actively do something not school-related. By active, I mean not passive (ie, tv watching or web-surfing). Knitting, playing music, sewing, sun salutations in the morning, something.
I think these are doable goals toward balance. Do you all have similar intentions?
However, there are some changes I'd like to make, and have decided to take advantage of the calendar page turn to do so. To that end, here are the two intentions I have:
Three times a week, I intend to get an hour's worth of exercise. This includes drumming.
Six days a week, I intend to actively do something not school-related. By active, I mean not passive (ie, tv watching or web-surfing). Knitting, playing music, sewing, sun salutations in the morning, something.
I think these are doable goals toward balance. Do you all have similar intentions?
Friday, December 30, 2011
More specifically
My last post was rather chatty and all over the place. Having spent several hours last night filing away teaching and class notes from summer and fall, I'm a feeling like I'd like a bit more focus now.
One area I'd like to focus on is the idea of motivated students. In my last post, I expressed regret for returning to teaching composition after having had such a wonderful experience with two sections of women's and gender studies. Though that class counted as a gen ed credit, for the most part it was a rather self-selected group of students who were generally interested in the subject matter--if they weren't interested in WGS, they could have taken sociology or psychology or something. I had one student so inspired by Peggy Macintosh's "Unpacking White Privilege" that she changed her major. Class discussions were usually interesting. My students wrote really insightful final papers on a variety of pop culture elements. And when my director came to evaluate me, she noted how surprised she was at the attendance of my class--I normally ran at around 85% in a class of 35.
This semester, I'm back to second year composition. I keep saying that I'll put together a themed course (like I did at UT), but I keep not having time to. Well, and I keep hoping that I'll get to teach a class in fiction, too. Teaching composition is so often felt as a form of punishment at worst, or something that has to be got through at best. Perhaps I'm exaggerating here--well, I am exaggerating to some extent, but it's important to note that most of the people who teach composition are literature or creative writing people, and not those whose studies focus on rhetoric and composition. Of course we're going to be disappointed when, once again, we're teaching how to write an argument paper instead of Shakespeare.
Admittedly, I do get to teach Shakespeare this summer. And between thinking about that and reading Peter Elbow's new book, I have enough ideas I want to pursue with my writing students that I should have the kind of enthusiasm which students pick up on. My random ideas include:
One area I'd like to focus on is the idea of motivated students. In my last post, I expressed regret for returning to teaching composition after having had such a wonderful experience with two sections of women's and gender studies. Though that class counted as a gen ed credit, for the most part it was a rather self-selected group of students who were generally interested in the subject matter--if they weren't interested in WGS, they could have taken sociology or psychology or something. I had one student so inspired by Peggy Macintosh's "Unpacking White Privilege" that she changed her major. Class discussions were usually interesting. My students wrote really insightful final papers on a variety of pop culture elements. And when my director came to evaluate me, she noted how surprised she was at the attendance of my class--I normally ran at around 85% in a class of 35.
This semester, I'm back to second year composition. I keep saying that I'll put together a themed course (like I did at UT), but I keep not having time to. Well, and I keep hoping that I'll get to teach a class in fiction, too. Teaching composition is so often felt as a form of punishment at worst, or something that has to be got through at best. Perhaps I'm exaggerating here--well, I am exaggerating to some extent, but it's important to note that most of the people who teach composition are literature or creative writing people, and not those whose studies focus on rhetoric and composition. Of course we're going to be disappointed when, once again, we're teaching how to write an argument paper instead of Shakespeare.
Admittedly, I do get to teach Shakespeare this summer. And between thinking about that and reading Peter Elbow's new book, I have enough ideas I want to pursue with my writing students that I should have the kind of enthusiasm which students pick up on. My random ideas include:
- Using Wordle during the revision process, so students can see what their language use looks like
- Incorporating even more reading aloud in class (maybe of work other than their own? To see what other people's writing feels like to read?)
- Moving around. I'm not sure yet what this means, but I want more movement in class. I may even try class outside (eek!).
- Though I typically do freewriting every day in class, I want to see if I can find a way to shake up freewriting even more. This summer, I had student freewrite and then exchange papers, respond to the writing, and then write again. I think I may try even more of these interactive assignments. And find a way to pair students up with different people--this summer, one person confided that she had trouble with the person she sat next to and always ended up paired up with, as he never had any useful feedback for her.
- Maybe, then, I should work on what providing useful feedback is like?
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Smack dab in the middle of winter break
I gave myself the Christmas present of absolute laziness today. Yesterday we went to New Orleans to exchnage presents with friends--one of the presents was cookie cutters, cookie dough, and accountrements for the kids, with whom I then spent the afternoon making cookies (so, a gift for all of us). We had planned on going to see the bonfires on the levee after that, but were pretty worn out from Christmas cheer (and rather tired), so we skipped it, planning on going by the store and getting some cold cuts for dinner--who knew that everything closed on Christmas Eve at 6? I have no interest in stores open at 4am the day after Thanksgiving--I'd much rather have a grocery store open the night before Christmas. Mark ended up getting McDonald's.
The semester came to an end--I gave exams on Wednesday and Thursday of exam week, got on a plane Friday and flew to Columbus, Ohio, where I then drove an hour through snow to Marion, Ohio, which was half an hour from where my dad's wedding was held the following day. I made it through the wedding and stuff, grading exams in between, and had a blast playing with my nephews in Dayton for the rest of the weekend. The rest of the week, I was in Cincinnati, where I blew off a ton of steam--at one point, finding myself playing backgammon with a friend, I was struck by how lovely it was to be playing backgammon and not working on anything school-related.
I also danced a remarkable amount--in addition to dancing at the wedding reception, there was dancing Thursday and Saturday nights until 3. Saturday was particularly amazing--as "Warehouse Reunion Night," it was basically the feeling that I wanted from a high school reunion and didn't quite get. Seeing my friends on the dance floor while Ministry and New Order played was such fun.
My body, however, wants to know exactly what I think was doing. My right knee is still complaining--so much so that I got a brace today to wear on it. And last night, my left had started complaining loudly about all of the knitting I've been doing (close lace work on a shawl from the "Jane Austen Knits" magazine I've been waiting about a month to start playing with).
While I was out of town, I applied for the position of "communications officer" for the Women's Caucus of the MLA, and interviewed for a summer job teaching gifted junior high students. The WCMLA application was rather straightforward, though I did put a significant amount of thought into the cover letter. The TIP job wanted to set up a skype interview, which turned out to be impossible on my travels. We scheduled a phone interview for Wednesday afternoon, which they managed to forget, and had to reschedule for Friday morning. It's a good thing skype wasn't available, as I was out until 3am dancing the night before.
The interview went very well--the woman I spoke with started out by saying that the writing instructor positions I had applied for filled up rather easily, but she was interested in hearing more about my Drama in Stratford and London course, as she thought it made me a good candidate for teaching their "Shakespeareance" course at Davidson. We talked for 45 minutes--it was a lot of coming up with things on the fly, as I hadn't prepared for an interview about teaching literature, but it went very well, and she said I should expect an offer in my email that day. And indeed, I had one.
The WCMLA position came through, too. So, I've now got a stack of books from the library on web site maintenance, and on teaching Shakespeare and drama games, all of which I need boning up on. I also sent in my registration for the Wharton in Florence conference, which is the beginning of June; Shakespeare is three weeks in July. I'm quite excited about all of it.
This was a tough semester, but tough because there was so much work (much of it hitting the end of November), not because I didn't like the work. Unlike this time last year, I'm not seriously considering trying to transfer programs. Now, I'm officially done with coursework (hooray!) and bearing down on studying for exams. I picked up Philip Roth's American Pastoral this week, after putting it down out of boredom once before. I admit, I put it back down after Peter Elbow's new book arrived--I love this work, and this one is about the connection between spoken and written language. I'm intrigued by the importance of the body on speech and writing. I'm happy to feel excitement about teaching writing, because it's going to be tough to go back to teaching comp after the wonderful experience I had teaching women & gender studies this past semester. It was so wonderful to have the kind of committed, enthusiastic students that I had last semester. I hope I'm able to have similarly enthusiasm this semester. Of course, going back to teaching 23 students (rather that 68!) will be nice.
And being done with coursework, it will be very nice to not have response papers and things due.
I'm also working on cutting an article that I had submitted to the Southern Literary Journal--they responded that they've changed requirements, and would be happy to read my article if I'd cut 1,000 words. So, I cut. It's better than a flat out rejection, like I got from the Mississippi Quarterly. I've got a to-do list for winter break, but I hope to make it leisurely. My body is insisting on it.
The semester came to an end--I gave exams on Wednesday and Thursday of exam week, got on a plane Friday and flew to Columbus, Ohio, where I then drove an hour through snow to Marion, Ohio, which was half an hour from where my dad's wedding was held the following day. I made it through the wedding and stuff, grading exams in between, and had a blast playing with my nephews in Dayton for the rest of the weekend. The rest of the week, I was in Cincinnati, where I blew off a ton of steam--at one point, finding myself playing backgammon with a friend, I was struck by how lovely it was to be playing backgammon and not working on anything school-related.
I also danced a remarkable amount--in addition to dancing at the wedding reception, there was dancing Thursday and Saturday nights until 3. Saturday was particularly amazing--as "Warehouse Reunion Night," it was basically the feeling that I wanted from a high school reunion and didn't quite get. Seeing my friends on the dance floor while Ministry and New Order played was such fun.
My body, however, wants to know exactly what I think was doing. My right knee is still complaining--so much so that I got a brace today to wear on it. And last night, my left had started complaining loudly about all of the knitting I've been doing (close lace work on a shawl from the "Jane Austen Knits" magazine I've been waiting about a month to start playing with).
While I was out of town, I applied for the position of "communications officer" for the Women's Caucus of the MLA, and interviewed for a summer job teaching gifted junior high students. The WCMLA application was rather straightforward, though I did put a significant amount of thought into the cover letter. The TIP job wanted to set up a skype interview, which turned out to be impossible on my travels. We scheduled a phone interview for Wednesday afternoon, which they managed to forget, and had to reschedule for Friday morning. It's a good thing skype wasn't available, as I was out until 3am dancing the night before.
The interview went very well--the woman I spoke with started out by saying that the writing instructor positions I had applied for filled up rather easily, but she was interested in hearing more about my Drama in Stratford and London course, as she thought it made me a good candidate for teaching their "Shakespeareance" course at Davidson. We talked for 45 minutes--it was a lot of coming up with things on the fly, as I hadn't prepared for an interview about teaching literature, but it went very well, and she said I should expect an offer in my email that day. And indeed, I had one.
The WCMLA position came through, too. So, I've now got a stack of books from the library on web site maintenance, and on teaching Shakespeare and drama games, all of which I need boning up on. I also sent in my registration for the Wharton in Florence conference, which is the beginning of June; Shakespeare is three weeks in July. I'm quite excited about all of it.
This was a tough semester, but tough because there was so much work (much of it hitting the end of November), not because I didn't like the work. Unlike this time last year, I'm not seriously considering trying to transfer programs. Now, I'm officially done with coursework (hooray!) and bearing down on studying for exams. I picked up Philip Roth's American Pastoral this week, after putting it down out of boredom once before. I admit, I put it back down after Peter Elbow's new book arrived--I love this work, and this one is about the connection between spoken and written language. I'm intrigued by the importance of the body on speech and writing. I'm happy to feel excitement about teaching writing, because it's going to be tough to go back to teaching comp after the wonderful experience I had teaching women & gender studies this past semester. It was so wonderful to have the kind of committed, enthusiastic students that I had last semester. I hope I'm able to have similarly enthusiasm this semester. Of course, going back to teaching 23 students (rather that 68!) will be nice.
And being done with coursework, it will be very nice to not have response papers and things due.
I'm also working on cutting an article that I had submitted to the Southern Literary Journal--they responded that they've changed requirements, and would be happy to read my article if I'd cut 1,000 words. So, I cut. It's better than a flat out rejection, like I got from the Mississippi Quarterly. I've got a to-do list for winter break, but I hope to make it leisurely. My body is insisting on it.
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